The Greatest Misadventure of the 21st Century

It's not that Kei thought she was better than everyone else. It's just that she found a thrill in rivalry. The outcome didn't really matter; win or lose. The battle itself is where she found the most fun. With her dyed hair pulled back into pigtails, she'd set off into battle; a soldier searching for some fun. She had more enemies than friends, and that was fine with her. The more enemies, the more thrilling battles in store.

Renge did not, however, fall into this category. The loud and crazy girl was one of Kei's only friends. She knew how the game worked, and she knew her exception. She was cute. That was how things worked in Kei's world. They were two psycho peas in one nutso pod.

It was this odd alliance that led Kei Aiyoku to be standing outside the door of the third music room, her hand poised over the handle in a moment of hesitation.

When the large, painted door pulled out, all eyes flitted upward in the music room. The "abandoned" music room was the furthest from; all around there were stations of women being assisted and entertained by individual or paired boys, all attending students at Ouran Academy. One lad in particular caught her eye from behind a pair of blond locks. He smiled and cast her a quick glance, turning his attention back to his customers to ensure no disappointment. A newcomer, he realized. He hadn't seen this one around before.

Across the room, the red-headed attendant lifted her head with a warm, familiar smile. "Kei!" She cried, rushing to the door, her heels making soft clips and clops on the tiled floor. "It's good to see you showed up after all!"

-x-

The cherry blossoms ever falling over the sunlit windows caught Ahsoka's eyes with a hypnotic gesture. She stopped in the middle of her sliding walk, letting the motion of the breeze take her mind elsewhere. Hands in her pockets, she clutched the piece of paper in her right palm ever tighter. Earlier that week, she and her infamous classmate, Haruhi Fujioka, had been passing notes. He'd invited her to come visit the Host Club, and while she had no idea what in the world a Host Club could be, thinking of the fact that Haruhi was involved made it ever more inviting. They'd studied together before, been involved in group projects, and Haruhi didn't seem like one to disappoint. With a lump in her throat, Ahsoka blinked away from the window, realizing that she was only stalling for time.

"Renge!" Kei grinned, hugging her best friend tight. "No adorable cosplay today?" A pout placed on her lips as puppy eyes peeked out beneath her once calm demeanor. Her eyes scanned the room over her friend's shoulder, catching several handsome young men; a few cute enough to dote on.

"We've entered the land of man candy, I see." She snickered.

Renge snickered at her remark towards the Host Club members. "Something like that," she said in reply. She took Kei by the shoulder and led her along gracefully. "Don't think that just because you're my friend you don't have to make a reservation to be Hosted, my darling friend." Renge stopped in front of Kyoya, harshly patting Kei on the back. She grinned, fiercely, her face gleaming with potential pleasure. "This is the girl I was talking about. Do you think you could set her up with someone?"

Kyoya smiled down at Kei in that calculative way of his. "Tamaki's free in fifteen minutes. I'll set her up there." He nodded to the white haired girl.

-x-

Haruhi met up with Ahsoka on her way to the third music room. She was late, something she didn't think Kyoya or Tamaki were easily going to let her live down. Catching up with Ahsoka was a pleasant surprise.

"Soda-Chan, it's good to see you. Where are you headed to?" Haruhi grinned.

"Alright, cool!" Renge said, spinning on her heel to face Kei again. She winked one eye, raising her index finger. "This guy's Kyoya. He's the brains behind the operation." Her face normalized, and she took Kei by the shoulders again, pointing at the blonde boy a few yards away in the immense room. "That's the one Kyoya's setting you up with here in a few. He's the president of the club. Think you can handle him? He's a bit of a pistol."

-x-

"Soda-Chan, it's good to see you. Where are you headed to?"

The voice rang through Ahsoka's head so suddenly that it made her jump slightly, her head raising up with a gentle exhale. She turned quickly to face Haruhi, knowing all to well who she would visually encounter. Cheeks already flushing with heat, she immediately had to turn her attention to the floor, her shoulders up high with fluster. "Evening, Haruhi-kun..." She said, her fingers tightly gripping the seams of her uniform skirt. "I was heading over to the club room you told me about... Are you running late?"

Kei crossed her arms over her chest and laughed, loud and long. "Renge, you're making it sound like a challenge. If you keep that up, the poor boy will be out of his mind by time we're through." Kei winked and smirked. She watched as several girls swooned in the blonde's company. She promised herself that wouldn't be her. She'd be the one with all the control.

-x-

Haruhi chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. "I am." She confirmed. "Shall we go together, Soda-chan? It would be pretty fun for me to introduce such a cute girl to the rest of the club." Haruhi grinned and offered the other girl her hand. "What do you say?"

One, two, three... fifteen minutes passed quicker than expected. When the two customers from earlier had vanished from the room, Tamaki stood from the couch and pressed a palm to his forehead, making an attempt to look pitiful in the eyes of his next client. "It's so tiring, sometimes... I'm not sure if I can go on..." He murmured. He looked up to Kyoya, who signaled to the newcomer with his eyes. Tamaki let his face melt as he glided across the empty space. "But I suppose... I can survive a little longer, if it means I'm with you, my Princess..."
He kneeled down on one knee and gently pressed his lips to the back of her hand.

-x-

That laugh, it was so perfect... So sweet, and constantly on the up side of things. Ahsoka had never once seen Haruhi show any signs of pessimism. It was admirable, and adorable at the same time. Feeling all the rest of the world around her drift away, Ahsoka's face flared with heat when Haruhi said the word "cute" and offered a hand. She had to look away for a moment, covering her face with one hand. "Uhm... Y-yeah, sounds grool..." Suddenly, she looked up in horror. "I-I meant to say 'great,' and then started to say 'cool'..."

Kei bit her lip, resisting the distinct urge to carry this adorable boy home with her and lock him in her closet, where she could take him out and glomp him daily. Oh, if only kidnapping weren't a federal crime...
She smiled at the boy. "My my, such a dignified prince. What's a girl to do?"

-x-

Haruhi chuckled and took her by the hand. "You're just so cute, Soda-Chan." She told the other girl as they made their way to the club room. "Very very 'grool'." Haruhi couldn't help grinning at the use of the word.

Tamaki felt a smile tugging at the side of his mouth. He stood, gently scratching the palm of the girl's hand with his index finger. "I see you've a keen eye for beauty, madmoiselle," he said, gently leading her along in a soft tug. "Tell me, what sights make you tick?"

-x-

Ahsoka kept her eyes on the floor, too afraid to look at Haruhi, let alone 'his' hand resting on hers, tugging her along. She let herself smile, her heart growing a bit heavy when they pulled to a stop. Her eyes averted upward to a sign that read, "Music Room #3." Biting her lip, she followed in close behind Haruhi.

Kei smiled; so quickly he was trying to figure her out? And so straightforward about it too...She couldn't help the smirk that tugged at her lips as she allowed herself to be pulled along. He was cute, and she'd go easy on him, but she didn't want to just let him have his way. "What makes me tick? Now, isn't it more fun for us both for you to figure that out yourself?"

-x-

"Welcome to the host club, Soda-Chan." Haruhi told the shy girl as she opened the door to the host club. The room was abuzz, as per usual, with giggling, smiling girls. "It's pretty crazy, huh?"

Tamaki frowned, his lower lip going into a small pout. Sighing through his nose in what may or may not have been mistaken for a pleasant manner, he sat the girl down on the couch. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tamaki Suoh. I'm the president of this establishment." He said, pride hanging heavily on his tongue. "And what might your name be, my Princess? I don't believe I've seen you around campus before."

-x-

Ahsoka felt like an ant standing alone in a beehive. The place was so high class, so extravagant, it was all just a bit overwhelming. She kept a tight hold on Haruhi's sleeve, her chest starting to feel heavy. "I don't think I've ever seen more fangirls in one place," she said coldly. "What exactly is the point of this club, Fujioka-san?"

Kei had to admit, being called princess was doing a number on her. But she shoved it aside and smiled. "My name is Kei Aiyoku. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Suoh." She cooed. "I can see why you're the president here; you're quite obviously the most attractive. And quite kind as well." Her eyelashes batted slightly. This was a new game to her, but it must be fun if Renge had suggested it.

-x-

Haruhi rubbed the back of her head nervously. "Y'know, the crazy thing is, I've been here for a long long time, and I'm still not entirely sure. Main thing is, lonely girls come here, and we keep them company; make them feel good about themselves." Haruhi told her. "It's nice to see them smile and really mean it."

Tamaki planted himself into the cushion at her left, resting his chin on the back of his wrist. His saphire blue eyes gleamed in the few small rays of light pouring in from the laced curtains. "Kei Aiyoku, hm?" He repeated, intrigued. Maybe. If he was faking, he was damn good at it. "So, if you're here at Ouran, may I ask what your family industry is?" Intimidation time.

-x-

"That's actually... Kind of sweet of you, Fujioka-san..." Ahsoka looked down at her hands, her shoulders raising with embarrassment again. Suddenly, she wondered why in the world 'he' had brought her here. Did 'he' think she needed something out of such a concept? Did she really come off as that... well... pitiful? Trying to push the thought away, Ahsoka scanned the room with her eyes, slowly, making contact with those of one host who didn't appear to be very busy. She immediately tensed and flew back behind Haruhi to hide her face.

Kei grinned. "You know Tamaki Nami and Ayumi Hamasaki?" She asked. "My dad is their manager. My mom owns a huge toy company." She couldn't help swelling with pride. "I've had lunch with Tamaki-chan and Ayumi-chan. They're so sweet." She smirked.

-x-

"What's wrong, Soda-Chan?" Haruhi asked, concerned. She turned to face the other girl, eyes concerned. "Did I say something to upset you? I'm very sorry if I did, Soda-chan."

Tamaki's eyes widened, almost offended. "W-Was that supposed to be a joke?" He asked, his hard, seductive shell suddenly scattered into tiny pieces on the floor. "I'm waiting for the punchline."

-x-

Ahsoka put one hand on Haruhi's shoulder, extending one finger and pointing. "That guy was staring at me weird," she said into his shirt. Actually, it wasn't anything weird at all, just the thought of a wealthy guy even glancing her way always made her heart pound.

"Why, Suoh-Sama, I'm not quite sure what you could mean. You asked about my family didn't you?" Kei feigned innocence. "What punchline is there to be found in that?" Kei's eyes searched his. "Unless you're questioning my honor, Suoh-Sama, at which point I must admit I'm offended and hurt."

-x-

Haruhi looked to where Ahsoka pointed and let out an "Ah I see." She patted the top of Ahsoka's head comfortingly. "That's just Kyoya is all." She told the shyer girl. "He probably hasn't ever seen you before; wanted to keep note of who you are. It's kinda his job in the club, I guess."

Tamaki might have fallen over if not for the couch holding him in an upright position. His eyes seemed to shrink into the back of his head. "Hurt, and... offended... eh...?" He muttered, spacing out the words as if they left sour tastes in his mouth. He turned in his seat, lolling around like a limp doll to hang on the back of the couch. "MOMMY!" He called out to Kyoya. "THIS ONE'S BEING MEAN!"

-x-

Ahsoka peaked out from behind Haruhi very subtly. She saw the man scratching something down into a file, making her bite her lip in wonder. "Uhm... Fujioka-san...? Is there a particular reason you invited me here today?" She asked, staring down at the floor.

Kei fought off a snicker and drew her arms close to herself to keep herself from pulling Tamaki into a hug. "I'm being mean? Well now I must say, I truly am hurt to my very core, Suoh-Sama." She blinked rapidly in the few moments left that his back was turned, making her eyes water. He turned around to see what appeared to be tears. "Here I let Renge bring me up here, just to see you, and now you call me mean. That's just...that's just to cruel..."

-x-

"Well, Soda-Chan, unfortunately we don't get to talk very much aside from notes during class. I figured that if you come here to visit, we can sit and talk together for a while." Haruhi smiled softly to the other girl. "Don't you think it would be nice to just take time aside to hang out?"

Tamaki sank deeper into the cushions, defeated. He let the girl snuggle against him lifelessly until the mischevious twins from across the room caught eye. They seemed to simply reappear behind him on either side of the couch.
"What's this?"
"A newcomer?"
"Seems to be more than the boss can handle."

-x-


That was what did it. Ahsoka fell into a sudden flurry of fangirlism in the back of her head, and in that moment, she'd melted completely. She sat around simply conversing with Haruhi for quite some time, always keeping her gaze low and her hands in her lap. Finally, she said, "Fujioka... There's something I need to tell you."

Kei tried to keep the glare of her face. This was something she had not expected. Interference was not supposed to be a part of the game, as to what she knew. Had Renge forgotten to mention some secret rule that Kei herself didn't know of. She sighed, and while her face witheld her malice, her voice was another story. "What do you two want?"

-x-

Haruhi smiled kindly to Ahsoka. "What is it, Soda-Chan? You know you can tell me anything, right?" The female host asked her companion. She had no idea of Ahsoka's feelings for her, blissfully unaware of the true nature of the very situation.

The twins moved completely in sync, like a mirror image. Which one was the doppleganger, though? They leaned in, poking Tamaki's blond-haired head with either index finger on both sides, making him frown in disapproval. "It's a rarity that the boss gets so riled up like this... at least this quickly."
"Yeah, what'd you do to 'im?"
Tamaki lifted his head, his teeth gritting together. "You two need to buzz off. NOW."
One moved back to shrug, and after his statement, the other followed. "Oh, what's the matter, boss?"
"A little friendly competition hurting your pride?"

-x-

Ahsoka brought a hand up to her lips, exhaling softly. "Well, er... I know you must get this practically every day, but..." There it was again. That terrible, terrible pain in her chest. The room was chilled to the perfect temperature, but nontheless she felt she could not breathe. "I really like--" Suddenly, the pain became something much more serious. This jolting feeling suddenly burst in her chest, making her reach up and clutch at her collar. She let out a soft cry, leaning forward against her knees.

The whole room seemed to freeze as Ahsoka fell to her knees, clutching at her chest. "Soda-Chan?!"

Kyoya was shoving past gawking girls, cell phone already to his ear. "I need an ambulance. Now!" He reached Haruhi and Ahsoka, holding on to the girl to steady her as his fingers did what they could to loosen her collar and try to get her a sense of breath back.

Kei, the twins, and Tamaki all watched with wide eyes as paramedics rushed in to take the girl, Kyoya barking orders at them the whole time. No one moved for several long moments after the paramedics had left; Haruhi and Kyoya going with them.

"What just happened...?"
"I don't know."
"Is that girl going to be okay...?"
"Kaoru?"
The twin leaned in close on his brother, who was trembling, his hands brought up defensively to his lips. It had all happened so fast, he wasn't sure how to react. On the other side of the room, the smaller Host was buried into the shirt of another more masculine looking figure.
Tamaki stood from his spot on the couch and hollered out, "Ladies! I'm afraid we're going to have to cut our club meeting short today. As you've all witnessed, there's been a serious accident. I'm going to request only once that you all clear out as soon as possible." He let his gaze fall to the girl from before, lowering the tone of his voice. "I apologize, Princess... This was completely unplanned." Considering how much of a baby he'd been earlier, he seemed to be handling this whole situation with a great deal of maturity.

-x-

On a different plane of time during the same events of the day, Ahsoka found herself staring blankly up at the bright lights on a white ceiling. Her eyes dark as stones, she had to squint, bringing a hand up to her head, only to find an IV needle sticking out of her arm. "Yeah, that's pleasant..." She muttered to no one, taking in a deep breath.

"Hey, you're awake." Haruhi said softly from beside the bed. "You had us all worried sick." The female host walked over into Ahsoka's view.

"You suffered a heart attack." Kyoya said from her other side, scribbling something down in his black notebook. "A tragic accident. You're quite lucky it didn't end up any worse."

"Oh shush, Kyoya." Haruhi scolded. "Let her recover. Do you feel alright, Soda-Chan? Is there anything we can do for you?"